Navigating Life When We Don't Feel Safe

Fall is here and the crisp temps are creating a buzz! I love fall, the colors, the chillier nights, the fireplace warmth again, and so much more! Much change. And this month in particular is bringing so much change.
We have been in unsteady times for quite a long while now, and it just doesn't seem to ease up, does it?

How we handle all the rough patches has much to do with what we came to learn, how we were raised, who we are in this lifetime, and all we have gone through prior-to every new situation that arises. It can be a lot of blind navigating! As we now know, overcoming trauma when we are not even aware where our trauma is coming from, or how much it has affected us, is an important part of how we move through the tough times.  

Life seems easier when we feel safe. However, most of us do not realize when we don't feel safe until the challenge hits. What does safety mean to you? I was holding a young kitten recently. It is such a lovely gift to hold a small kitten so close to my chest. As safe as I was trying to keep her, she was so afraid. She did not feel safe. That got me thinking about all the times we have thought our loved ones felt safe enough to be honest with us.  We can get so upset when we want someone to tell us how they feel, yet they may choose not to because they are not sure what our reaction might be. Creating a safe container so those we care about can be fully honest is so important and also so challenging. Their fear of course may come from the experiences they had with us, and they could also come from the experiences they had with others, all the way back through childhood. 

I grew up in a generation that did not handle kid's emotions very well, most likely because the adults were also not taught to understand or to help themselves work through own emotions. It was common to have to "be nice.' This included hugging people that wanted to hug us, even when we wanted to say no. We were urged to make up with our siblings or our classmates even though we had not worked through any of the feelings that sparked the discord. We were just to get over it and be nice.

Thankfully as a societal whole, we have learned so much! We have had much more education around emotions and trauma, and we continue to learn how to navigate our emotions, our triggers, and our old baggage. We are also still learning what we need so we feel safe enough to express how we feel, regardless of our age. This is absolutely a life-long learning.

How can we begin?

We can start by checking in with ourselves regularly.
Check-in with our thoughts, our feelings, and our bodies. Sometimes asking ourselves questions from a place of wonder helps:

What am I feeling?
Am I in the past or the present?
What does that feeling mean to me?
What memories is this bringing up?
What can I do to feel a shift right now?

Taking the time we need to get to know and move through all we hold in our inner world is so worth our time. There are many ways to do this. One I have found so helpful is the work I did with Archetypes. 

As part of our own personal journeys, we are often in the shadow or light of an Archetypal energy and not realizing it, not realizing how we can take that energy and step into strength with it. With that in mind I am bringing the Archeytpal work back into focus. Together, in a small group, we'll explore your depth and the beauty of uncovering the truths within you. This series is for those who are ready, or want to be ready,  to fully explore their shadow parts in a supportive group setting. Together, we'll uncover the gifts and challenges behind our actions, using tools and exercises to examine our past and present. The goal is to enhance awareness, bringing challenges into balance, and fostering greater acceptance, greater courage, and creating easier pathways into greater self-love. Please message me or click on classes for more information.